RECALL NOTICE—YOU MIGHT BE AFFECTED

Local music providers Big’uns have recalled their entire three-hour performance from the September 28, Pink Trash Ball at George’s due to defects in the first three songs of the first set.

Apparent temporary faulty connections between the brains and note-triggering mechanisms contributed to the flawed performances.

Although the group is still exploring the cause of the malfunctions, the real reason might never be known. “If it were an Accord and a substandard carburetor, I’d know it immediately,” stated expert auto technician “Fuzz” Foster, the band’s bass player. “But this is baffling. We know it wasn’t alcohol-related, since this was a real paying gig and we weren’t drinking—besides, we’ve been known to play very well under the influence.”

“Man, I’m bummed,” stated singer Darren Ray. “I play in sixteen different musical configurations, and these are the guys who put my reputation on the line.”

“An obvious gap in our Six Sigma program,” according to Carl Thomas, UofA MBA candidate and Big’uns keyboardist. “I can only hope it doesn’t impede our ISO-9000 accreditation attempt.” The band has traditionally prided itself on its Quality Program.

At this point, it appears no injuries or illnesses have resulted from the performances. And while only the first three songs were affected, the entire performance is being recalled out of an abundance of caution.

Consumers who were unknowingly exposed to the faulty performances do not have reason for concern, according to Malice Intonation, paid third-party expert at the Institute for Betterer and Finerer Music. “Millions of people willingly listen to bad music every day; some seem to thrive on an all-clam diet. Nothing to see here. Move along.”

For those in attendance at the event who do feel as though their musical psyches might have been compromised by the performance, a make-up performance will be held at George’s this Friday from 6-8 pm. A minimal cover will be charged.